Koukeisha's Shorts
by Allen Grier
Summary: These are a series of short stories my friend Jamie has been writing, based on my story  Soul Society Chronicles. They are very good, and hilarious! Hope you like them! ALL CREDIT GOES TO JAMIE. I did not make these.


It seemed like any normal day in the Soul Society…okay, not completely normal. After the incident with 3rd Squad Captain Jou and Rukia Kuchiki at the Seireitei, the long battle and many weeks in the hospital, Jou was enjoying the outside with faithful Kalinda by his side. The Soul Society with other sections were still being rebuilt since Aizen's attack and return to the hollow realm. Cherry blossoms were in the air and so was love. Jou, the sneaky devil, slowly yawned as her put his arm around--! "Koukeisha-san! What are you doing spying on your captain and superior! What's with the microphone from the human realm!" Koukeisha was caught, on the roof of the hospital, caught by Captain Histugaya. She bowed.

"Gomen nasai, Captain. I was just recording how Captain was doing…since the battle and everything."

"I understand, what you did was risky. But can't your see they are sharing a private moment?"

Koukeisha nodded. "Shouldn't you be having a private moment of your own?" Koukeisha smirked. Hitsugaya stumbled. "Wha-what do you mean by that?"

Koukeisha then giggled. "You know exactly." And flashed stepped away.

Once reaching her small apartment called home she checked on her rabbits. Yes, Koukeisha-san owned bunnies, in other words. Don't have a problem with that, do ya? She walked over to their cages, one small problem. The cages were open and the bunnies were gone. Koukeisha's eyes widen with shock. "Shit" as she flashed step out the door to find them. 'I'm sure I locked those cages this very morning. Sure of it. How could they be open? Who would open them?' Koukeisha's mind raced with this questions and she searched. These weren't normal bunnies we're use to, cute and fluffy but highly irritable bunnies with red eyes, they were hollow bunnies- secret experiment she got from 12th Squad Captain Kurotsuchi. If he found out that she let them go, he would most certainly kill her, and her captain couldn't just step in to protect her…after all that happen with his reputation. This was something she had to do on her own.  
She found one near the hospital, ready to attack Jou and Kalinda. "No You Don't! Hi-Ya!" she said, capturing it.

"What the hell?! Koukeisha?" Captain Jou said, standing with his zanpakuto ready.

"Nothing." hiding the bunny behind her. 'Just one more…' She stepped out of the shadow of the tree to see Kalinda petting on of the demented bunnies. 'Girls got some calming aura…geeze. Or lack of brains…' Koukeisha went over to Kalinda and removed the bunny. "Sorry, but they're dangerous." Putting into a cage with the other on. "I guess that's it…" She sighed with relief.

"What is the meaning of this?" Jou said, furious. Obviously that he was interrupted with his time with Kalinda.

"Gomen Nasai, I'll leave you two alone. Have a good afternoon." She bowed.

"You better, what did I tell you?" 10th Squad Captain Hitsugaya appeared before the group holding another bunny. Her eyes widen again, if this kept happening she would need glasses and looked like Aizen.

"Three! There is only suppose to be two evil hollow bunnies!" She said, throwing the third one into the cage. Maybe this is why the 12th Captain had told her to keep them in separate cages.

"Evil Hollow Bunnies?!" the two captains and Kalinda said in unison, this scarred Koukeisha but knew this was coming.

"Again, I am sorry. I was keeping them for the 12th Captain." As the two captain lectured her, a scream followed by shouts were soon heard, as soon as you could say "carrot" , the group had flashed stepped to the spot of the screaming. 11th Squad Captain Zaraki was on the ground, being surrounded by the bunnies, as his lieutenant Yachiru slashed the bunnies to pieces.

After the bunnies were gone, included the three Koukeisha has originally captured, the group of now six (unless my math is off counts on fingers) set in the alleyway to plan. "So, we know they are multiplying at an incredible rate. We need to destroy them." Histugaya stated. Koukeisha sat cowering in the corner. Jou tried to comfort her.

"Its alright Kou, they won't blame you for this."

"I'm not worried about the council. Those are 12th Captain's special experiments, you can't just kill them like that."

"We have no other choice." Zaraki said as his lieutenant attended his wounds.

"Stop moving, Kenny!"

"I was afraid you'd say that. I'm not worried about the council, I'm worried about what the 12th captain will do to me. He entrusted me."

"Then I'll take responsibility!" Jou said, standing proudly, with Kalinda supporting him up.

"Captain…" Koukeisha said with teary eyes.

"Arigato…I didn't want to get you guys involved."

"You Got Us Involved When They Tried To Eat Me!!" Zaraki said, also standing with Yachiru on his shoulder.  
After some time, they had slaughter many of the bunnies. Just when they thought they're work was done multiply explosions happened all around.

"Dammit, get down!" Jou covered Kalinda and the rest ducked their heads as glass surrounded them. As Koukeisha raised her head, she saw two pairs of feet in front of her. One wearing a mask and a captain's robe, the other with hands politely folded on her lap and a lieutenant badge. She recognized the two immediately.

"12th Captain Kuro-" As she was cut off from her explanation, and strong hand gripped her throat, cutting off her air supply.

"Foolish girl. Is this how you repay my respect? By letting them run wild? Do you realize what you've done?!" He said, upset and angry…all of it pointed toward Koukeisha.

"Drop her Kurotsuchi. This isn't her fault and you know it." Captain Jou demanded, standing proud all on his own, his zanpakuto drawn and ready. The irritated captain drop Koukeisha harshly and turned to the 3rd Squad Captain.

"I understand protecting your subordinates and even trying to return your reputation as the mighty and noble but aren't you mad that she kept this from you? Destroying all that we've been rebuilding? I understand you were there, to be executed. What if they blame you for all this? Want to relive that?" Captain Jou glared at the sound of the 12th captain's voice.

"To answer those in order. I am not mad at her, more at you. You should be thankful that she tried to keep your sick experiments as long as she did. And I will take responsibility for her but everyone knows what when on there and the one probably going to be blamed is you. For allowing these things to exist. Let's just hope they haven't taken anyone's life." Even his lieutenant looked up to hear his speech as she helped Koukeisha's neck. The 12th Captain sneered and vanishes with his lieutenant.

"Arigato Captain." She bowed.

"Enough wasting time. Let's get rid of these things." Jou smiled, helping her up.

To take a little break, I promise the characters won't go anywhere. Jou is probably full of him self with his bad ass speech. I almost didn't put it in here put them the story wouldn't make sense, one must get from a to c with b. It just seemed like again he tried to impress Kalinda once again. Oh well, he looks cool to all you, doesn't he? Just remember all his stupid moves…like the ones he'll perform later in the story!

"Koukeisha-san…what are you saying?!" Jou pouted, as he secretly read over her shoulder. "How can you say such things about me? Are you jealous?"

"Honestly, Cambells-san…I don't know. Its that attitude of yours."

"I can see why Kurotsuchi entrusted you."

"That's not the reason."

"Then why?" he whined.

"You don't want to know…trust me."

"Kind of hard. Wait! Are you writing this conversation down too?!"

"Have to…part of the story."

"Freaking bleep bleep" Then, Kalinda cursed at him for cursing. But I'm getting ahead in the story. 

Back to our dilemma. As all 13 squad dealt with the hollow bunnies, a dark cloud formed over the Soul Society. (why does that name seem…I don't know. Wrong?) "What know?" The captain complained as they spotted the cloud. The Captains were into groups with subordinates to guard them against the bunnies, the evil attacking hollow bunnies, I mean. Just as all looked like it was in vain, Aizen appeared with an army of bunnies. (takes short break to laugh, also fall out of chair). 

As the battle against Soul Society and Hollows ensued…bunny hollows, many building were destroyed with many bunnies. It came down to Jou with the other captains and shinigami…and Aizen with his…bunnies.

"So we meet again, Aizen." Aizen nodded in Jou's direction.

"Yes."

"You won't succeed this time!" Jou said, launching into battle with Aizen. Sadly, like Aizen himself he disappeared into the hollow realm again and a bunch of bunnies ambushed Jou, covering him in a dog pile. (A dog pile of bunnies?) "Get these freaking things Away From Me!" Jou screamed. Without realizing it, he had killed them and the army, just leaving the two original bunnies, scared out of their minds and cowering along Koukeisha's feet. As if she was they're mother. The Captains tried to calm Jou down, 12th Captain Kurotsuchi appeared.

"I see its not your fault. Fortunate that I didn't kill you. I see the two original subjects are back and in cages." Koukeisha nodded. "Can I trust you to keep them separate this time? And for this not to happen again? I can't have the whole soul society angry at me." She nodded again, about to take the bunnies again into her custody.

"Just Wait A Minute!" Jou said, stepping between the two. "She's not part of your squad but mine! You don't give her orders, I do!" 'Since when?' Koukeisha questioned in her mind. "Now, I don't want these things in her house ever again!" 'I have an apartment, one you've never been to…' She though silently. " I want these…these THINGS locked up in your lab." 'you…you…you. What about what I want?' she thought, as a little vein mark appeared on her forehead.

"I see. I guess you are right." Kurotsuchi said as he took the rabbits. "I'll take them and won't involve anymore of your squad members. Good day." he said, flash stepping back to his labs. As the events of the had finally ended, a calm covered the Soul Society. Jou And Kalinda were once again under the cherry blossom trees, Jou much too injured to be his sneaky devil self and Kalinda just sat under the tree, leaning against his shoulder as the shinigami complained of work in vain and having to rebuild…again. The sun set slowly into the night.

days later  
"Captain Cambells! So glad your better! Like my narrative?"

"It was more like a story in my opinion. Did you really want to keep those…monsters?"

"Yes, you only thought they were monsters on how the multiplied and attacked. I raised them."

"Whatever…you scare me."

"Fine. But I think they are cute! Captain Kurotsuchi let me keep one!" As Koukeisha raised the bunny for Captain Jou to see…he screamed in horror. Screaming that could out match any little girl. From that day on, Jou had an overcomplicate dislike and phobia…of cute, white, innocent looking red-eyed rabbits.  
But don't we all? 


End file.
